Beware the Green Horses

December 30, 2010

There are three days of break left. I would play with the three things my parents gave me for Christmas during that time, but seeing that those three things are a thermos bottle, a scarf, and a two-inch “inspiring” sculpture of someone reading a book, I thought that I would write for once. And maybe finish start that essay due when school starts again.

Wow. It’s been a while! What have I done since last I have written?

Well for starters, I got a cavity! Yay! I got it filled in yesterday. The only thing that hurt though, was my parents wallet; the dentist was very good and the cavity was in an easy spot. …Tooth #2, if you really want to know the details. Usually when I go to the dentist it is not good. What do I mean when I say “not good”? Think of a plastic frisbee in your mouth that somehow has sharp edges. Now imagine one tube sucking all air and moisture out of your mouth while another one pours a constant flow of water in. First they take off your braces and put new ones on so you can feel sore for the next few days. It’s very special because it’s like your first day with braces all over again!

Think that’s bad? Well there’s more. Did I mention you have two chains in your mouth that they use to pull two teeth down each month that are in a place where teeth should not be? Did I mention that it hurts? A LOT?

Then they fill your mouth with this foam stuff that would probably taste just fine if they didn’t add toxic flavours to it. …And the flavours are mandatory; that is to say, not optional. You cannot choose the option of “no flavour”.

All the while they are saying things to you like “You’re doing great!” and “You’re such a trooper!” and “Keep it up…just a few minutes to go!”. I can just picture them saying, with their robotic smile, “I would really like to pull all of your teeth out and embed them in your disgusting little face, but I will get fired if I do that!”

And of course, a light is shining in your eyes all the while.

…I am used to all this, though. The real thing that annoyed me last time (the time before I got my cavity filled in) is that I got a ‘new’ dentist; a dentist in training. Let’s just call her a ‘dentistee’. The dentistee looked at my teeth and then started to ask another dentist some questions. Not nice ones like “My favorite colour is burgundy!” and “I like your teeth!”, but scary ones like “How do I do this?” and “Is it the left side or the right side? I forgot…” and “Can you do this for me?”

YES!!! YES!!!! PLEASE SAY YES!!! DON’T LET THIS INCOMPETENT DENTIST RUIN MY HORRIBLE TEETH!! PLEASE!!!!!

…That is what I wanted to say to the other dentist. But, of course, she didn’t do it. She said something like “Oh don’t worry…it’s easy!”.

Right then I was thinking “Somebody shoot me, please!! (but not in the mouth)”

And sure enough, she left a wire too long on the right side of my cheek.

…And that is the reason it hurts every time I smile. Because I became the test subject for the new girl in the neighborhood of dentistry.

I will save the rest of my stories for another time. Right now, I must shake the sand off a winter scarf that I used to warm my toes at the beach in the dead of winter.

Green horses in the field…

Green horses make you yield…

With their muscular arms…

They live in farms…

With built-in alarms…

Beware the green horses.

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