Mickey Mouse Candy!

August 4, 2010

I’m leaving for eight days early tomorrow morning. This may mean that you won’t get any blog entries from me in a while, but not necessarily. I may be able to sneak one in.

The first thing I will write about will be something that happened a few days ago. I don’t know the exact date, but that isn’t really important.

A few days ago was a block party. A block party is not a party in which you make buildings from wooden blocks (although I do enjoy that activity). A block party is kind of like an open house. An open house is not a house with no roof. An open house is something that happens when someone has too much food. They invite 500 friends to their house and they basically just eat and drink. Well that’s what a block party is.  One particular block hosts a party that people from the surrounding blocks attend. One thing different though, is that everyone contributes to the meal. So I guess it’s more like a giant pot luck.

Our block has been hosting block parties for a number of years. My family has attended 3 of them, I think. The block party started at 3:00. Every year the block party is hosted, there is a jumpy. A jumpy is something like a trampoline, only not as bouncy and more chunky. The jumpy is usually in the yard of the people next door, but this year it was in our yard. There was also a snow cone machine, beer, more beer, and one of those things where you have to get the sack in the hole.

…The whole thing felt very ‘official’ because the street was sealed off. Later on, a firetruck and ambulance came for people to gawk at. The ladder was huge; I could see it from basically anywhere. Isn’t that a funny term? “Basically anywhere”

After a while, dinner began (even though people had been eating dinner ever since lunch ended).

I walked inside my house because I was bored. My sister Christina was preparing a chicken meal in the kitchen. She was on one of the final steps, which is to cover the meat in bread crumbs, spicy stuff, and flavor. She was getting it all over, and even under the skin. She’s a great cook; I think that she should go to culinary school instead of majoring in psychology. After that was done, she gave me the plates and I walked outside to have them cooked on the grill. As I walked out the door with two platters of meat that could be served at the best restaurant, it looked as if I had done it. Yay. Go me.

When it was cooked, I tried the chicken and it was amazing.

Some time later, it was “big kid time on the jumpy” time. “Why not?” I said to myself, and I got in.

A few other “biggy kiddys” were in there with me. I felt very childish being in that jumpy. We started doing crazy things that almost tore the whole jumpy down. Then we got told off by someone who looked to be about eighteen or nineteen years old. I sat in the jumpy in utter gloom, despite the rainbows surrounding me. Then, a thought occurred to me: “I already got told off by a teenager, why not do the whole package and rip this sucker apart?!?” …I never got to, though; it was the little kid’s turn again. Maybe next year!





Everyone had their turn of hitting it, until one buff lady struck it so hard that the bat broke. Not the pinata, the bat. My brother Jonathan went into one of the garages to get one of our metal bats to replace the other one.

After he got it, a man who looked to be eighty years old totally destroyed the pinata.

……And the kids swooped in. Nuff said.

I also swooped in to get a few pieces. “So, is it good candy or mickey mouse candy?” The elderly man asked me.

“Looks like mickey mouse to me….” I said as I examined the trashiest candy in the world resting in my palm.

As day turned into night, it was time to roast marshmallows. How do you disprove Greek mythology? Because if Greek mythology were true, then I would be Becranicus, the god of Marshmallow Roasting.

The marshmallows they had there were huge; 4 times the size of a normal one. I took one in my hand (which I could no longer see due to the size of the marshmallow) and put it on a metal skewer. The skewer has two heads at the end of it, and it took both of them to hold the marshmallow.

I slowly turned the marshmallow above the tips of the flames until the outside of it was a crusty golden brown, and the inside was turned to goo. I took it out of the fire and looked at it. It was the best marshmallow I had ever seen. Perfect in every way. And then…..

SPLAT! “That would happen, wouldn’t it” I thought to myself bitterly.

Even in destruction, the marshmallow was still glorious. It made a perfect dome on the ground, brown at the top, and gooey otherwise. Surrounding the Dome of Wasted Glory (as I call it) was the splattered remains of the rest of the marshmallow. “Whatever,” I thought. “I never liked marshmallows anyway”

I then walked away from the circle of drunken adults in lawn chairs who were still “haruckleboo-ing” at the phenomenon.

As I walked away, I heard someone talking about bowling. “Yeah, I just threw it at it and the pin just went BSHOOSH!” Those were his exact words.

I then went down to my room where I fell asleep and had the oddest dream you could possibly imagine.

Oh, did I tell you? I have been watching a neighbor’s dog, cat, and rabbit for four days. They came back yesterday night, and I got paid $40 for it a few hours ago. I will use it to partially pay for a black suit for the funeral that my family will be attending. I seriously have no other use for money, except wasting it on Starbucks.

And that brings us to…..THE PRESENT! I will end with a little poem. It is about a servant who is riding a horse to his master’s house to mop the floors, but his horse dies of mesothelioma. He then continues on foot, wearing flip flops. He arrives at his master’s house and does his job, but does not get paid because he was late.

Clippety clippety clippety CLOP.

Flippety flippety flippety FLOP.

Mippety mippety mippety MOP.

Nonono nonono nonono DOUGH.



2 Responses to “Mickey Mouse Candy!”

  1. CJ said

    I seriously got more enjoyment out of reading this than I have with reading anything else(except for maybe the Message, hahaa). (: I thought it couldn’t get any better, then I read the poem!!

    Anyway, keep it up!

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