“You’ll Learn!”

June 16, 2010

There are two words that can  best describe my day: beach, and shopping. That is, unless something drastic and life changing happens within the next 5 hours, which I doubt will happen. If something does happen though, I will edit it in somewhere.

This day began like yesterday and the day before that; I slept in. I slept in until 10:00 and I ate two pieces of toast for breakfast. I hadn’t planned on eating breakfast, because I wanted to get to the store quickly. Trust me, I’m usually not a big shopper (I’d much rather stay at home and do nothing). However, a 10-day Boyscout camp out in Colorado has popped up, and I am not prepared. Or rather, I wasn’t prepared the morning before I wrote this.

My mom took me first to the thrift stores, as she always does first before going to any other type of store. I do admire her thriftiness, but it does get annoying when I know what I want and I know where it is (in this case, Target). Why Target? Why not Wal-Mart, where the prices are oh-so-low? Well let me tell you about Wal-Mart.

Ever walked in to a Wal-Mart? Of course you have. What’s the very first thing you see? Doors. What kind? Automatic. Which doors do the people go in through? The out door. Out? The in door, of course. Often times the signs are ripped and you cannot see them clearly, but most of the time it is the customer’s laziness. I don’t really notice this at any other stores. Just Wal-Mart. Go Wal-Mart.

The second thing you see will probably be some odd ball with a blue jacket and a smiley face sticker. Let’s call this person the ‘grinning greeter’. They will wave to you and say “Hello! Welcome to Wal-Mart! Happy Shopping!”, or something along those lines. They may even give you a nice little hug or a gentle touch and share their nice little parasites with you! Hooray!

After (or if) you get past the grinning greeter, there is something else that you will see: the shoppers. These are no ordinary shoppers, though. You will see  people taking up entire isles, people covered head-to-toe in tattoos,  people in their pajamas,  and people who forgot to get dressed altogether. I’m not saying that you are weird if you shop at Wal-Mart (everyone has to some time). I’m saying that if you see someone at Wal-Mart, that person is most likely weird.Why do I bash so upon our strange little friends at Wal-Mart? Because the costumers often (if not always) reflect what the store is like.

If you can get past the customers at Wal-Mart (and the workers in their disgusting blue jackets and happy smiley faces), then maybe you will have the will power to get past how the whole store is like a giant disorganized warehouse. Actually, that’s what it is. It seems as if a tornado dumped everything there, and like things just happened to land somewhat together. The dressing rooms do not feel enclosed and private (at least in my Wal-Mart). Unlike dressing rooms in other stores I have seen, their dressing rooms are placed in the center of the store, so you can feel awkward and exposed to the whole world while you try on the clothes of Wal-Mart, instead of being in a nice little corner.

If you let your children run wild in the toy sections of Wal-Mart, just make sure that they don’t pocket anything and keep it, as a number of things are already out of the package after being handled with by who-knows-what-number-of-whos.

After getting what you needed (if it wasn’t out of stock), you can go to the cash register number 6 and wait 10 minutes to purchase your item (all other registers are conveniently closed).

When you attempt to walk out of Wal-Mart, you will see the grinning greeter again, who remembers you quite well and gives you a yellow-toothed smile and a skeletal wave of the hand.

You are out of the store. Congratulations. What’s that? You want to get to your car?!? Well if you want to do that you will have to move 5 shopping carts (with gum stuck to them) out of the way, and then drive away with your items that you wished you could have bought at Target instead. Did Target pay me to write this? I wish. Does a friend of mine work at Target? Not that I know of.

My mom and I first went to the Community Thrift Store (that’s the name of it). All the parking spaces were filled up, so we had to wait for someone to get out before we could actually enter the store. Once we entered, we looked for some jeans, a swimsuit, and shorts. We found nothing. But, we did find a nice pair of shoes that I am wearing at this moment. That is the thing I like about thrift stores: you can find something great even if you weren’t looking for it (for 1/4 the original price, sometimes!).

Leaving the Community Thrift Store proved to be somewhat of a challenge. Construction was being held there, so everyone had to enter and leave through the same entry-way. Thank God for the oldies station, which makes me happy for traffic jams!

After finally leaving the Community Thrift Store, we drove on to Target. When we entered, we smelled the smell of popcorn and yummy, salty pretzels. We knew that we could afford to waste any money or time on a snack, though. We had a mission to accomplish! I quickly found the items I was looking for, tried them on in the enclosed dressing room, and bought them (my mom paying a small 3/4 of the price).

We then rushed home and found everyone ready for the beach. We are indeed a large family (9 people!), but we are also very punctual (most of the time!). Besides the eight out of nine members of my family, four people were coming in the Jumpermobile. Yes, our last name is Jumper. No, I would not like to hear the 4589074308750924th ‘Jumper’ joke. The four people coming with us are four of my sister’s friends.

I must say we had a great time at the beach, and I didn’t get burnt to a crisp (which happens too often in the Summer)! Three cheers for sunscreen (no, not really…don’t embarrass yourself)!

The beach where I live near is very nice, and has two piers, upon which sit two lighthouses that are nice to sit on and feel the wind strike your face and mess up your perfectly assembled hair.

I do other things than sitting on lighthouses though, like playing a game one of my brothers (David) and I made up: “You’ll Learn!”. How do you play it? Well, it involves a Frisbee and two or more players, and is a very simple game to play. One player throws the Frisbee to another, and if he doesn’t think the person he threw it to will catch it, he says “You’ll Learn!”. If the player doesn’t catch it, nothing happens. If the player does catch it, the player who shouted “You’ll Learn!” gets a point. Points are bad, and if you get 10 points, you receive a penalty (like getting dunked in the water). Why not never shout “You’ll Learn!”, so you will never lose? Because that’s weak sauce and everyone will think that you’re a big wimp!

After the beach, I took a shower and wrote this entry so you could be infected with my uninteresting life. Now you can get up off the computer and do something active, like going to the beach and playing “You’ll Learn!”.

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